Pastoral blog: Christmas reflection

Inspiration for this Christmas blog has been gathered by asking a number of women whom I admire and some of our students for their Christmas musings.

For Mrs Kay Dodsworth, our Lay Chaplain, the primary Christmas message is the birth of Jesus – at which point God became ‘present’ to us. As well as reflecting on how God is present in our own lives this Christmas, Mrs Dodsworth suggested that we could also reflect on how He is present in other people’s – sometimes very different – situations.

Year 8 Creative Writing scholar Maddy A. did just this in her own Christmas reflection, and showed a great maturity and empathy in doing so:

“For most of us Christmas is a time of happiness and sharing as we wait to celebrate together. But what about those people for whom Christmas is a challenging time? Those who are alone, or frightened or facing hardship at this time of year? Advent is also an opportunity to think about those that are less fortunate than us – people who are waiting for Christmas in the same way we are, but with very different thoughts to ours. What about a refugee from the Syrian war, for example? What would their Christmas wait be like?”

Our Creative Writing Scholars presented their reflections on Advent and Christmas in the final whole school assembly of the term on the theme of Waiting. To read more inspired Christmas reflections from our Creative Writing scholars – click here.

For those of us fortunate enough to experience Christmas in comfort, surrounded by loved ones, it can be easy to forget that Christmas is not a joyful time for everyone. However, there will inevitably be colleagues at work and members of our immediate or wider families for whom this time of year presents difficulties. Often feelings of sadness or loneliness become more acute during the festive season. There will be some trying to cope with personal loss at a time when other people might seem to have forgotten that someone significant is now absent. Or, as Maddy mentioned, there will be those who find themselves in physically unsafe or upsetting surroundings. School governor and friend, Sister Frances Orchard CJ, shared with me the poem Christmas is not Christmas, in which the opening lines make just this point:

Christmas is not Christmas
When you are alone
Christmas is not Christmas
Without a family or a home

Should we celebrate less, then, as we think of those for whom Christmas ‘is not Christmas’? Whether we are joyfully reflecting on Jesus’ birth and all that this means, or simply feeling blessed to be surrounded by loved ones, I do not think we should lose our sense of celebration: the good things in life ought to be cherished. Neither does this mean, however, that we should shy away from those who find Christmas challenging. So what can we do to try to make sense of and balance these apparently contradictory feelings?

Sister Frances shared the following joke with me which introduces, through humour, the idea that the way we behave can have very different results on other people’s narratives:

“There was a joke doing the rounds a few years ago based on what might have happened in the Christmas story had the three wise men been women. The answer, being one that most women would appreciate, was that the three wise women would have asked directions, arrived on time, helped deliver the baby, cleaned the stable, made a casserole, brought more practical gifts, and there would be a peace on earth.”

Although tongue in cheek, the message I take from this is that people - not only women! - who are conscientious, thoughtful, proactive, and useful can change situations for the better. Instead of feeling helpless, then, when we think about people who find Christmas difficult, we can focus our energy on uplifting these individuals by being ‘useful’. There are always useful things to be done for others at Christmas.

Through school, teachers, students and their families have been filling Operation Christmas Child shoe boxes with Christmas gifts for children who otherwise wouldn’t receive any. Donations have been made so that the school can purchase items from CAFOD’s World Gifts catalogue. Donations continue to be made through school for the local Foodbank – this is a constant activity throughout the year, not just a Christmas one. Junior School pupils recently reflected on homelessness in the UK, about those in other countries who work in unfair conditions and the role of Fairtrade in combatting this, and investigated the use of water and lack of facilities in much of Africa. Being keen to try and make a positive difference to the situation, the girls have decided to raise £400 to purchase a water tank: this fundraising will take place immediately after the Christmas break.

In more private ways, we can also make a positive impact the stories of those a little closer to home. We could consider inviting a distant relative or an old acquaintance who might be facing their first Christmas alone to spend the day with us. Perhaps employers could make sure that employees have enough time off in one stretch to be able to visit family over the break. A family who is struggling financially might be overjoyed to receive a home-made Christmas pudding, or even a voucher to purchase a turkey, that they otherwise might not have been able to afford. Small gestures might not seem worthwhile, or we might feel reticent to appear ‘interfering’ but I believe that these sorts of gesture, showing that we care about others’ Christmases, are an easy and effective way of reaching out to share the message of Christmas: that God becomes present to us.